Kerry McCoy
Arkansas Governor's School 2023
Excited and apprehensive describes how I felt while on my way to Russellville, Arkansas to speak to 400 bright Arkansas Governor’s School students. I didn’t know what to expect. Kids can be a tough audience. But, besides middle-aged men, they are also one of my favorite demographics and, early on in my speech, I told them so; for which I got a round of applause and realized they were going to be a fun group.
My Story
For the next 40 minutes I told my 48-year entrepreneurial story; the failures, successes, and luck. I orated on the power of visualization and quoted from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Netflix documentary. I recited the definition of Epigenetics and gave tips on building a good epigenetic foundation and its importance. Turns out, “sins of your father” is somewhat right.
Their Story
To ease some of their angst, I let them know that personality isn’t permanent. In my 60+ years, I have been about 5 different people. I went on to tell them about Dr. Gilbert’s 20-year study on the “Future Self Concept” wherein he explains that people imagine themselves and their future poorly.
In Dr. Gilberts 2014 TED Talk entitled The Psychology of Your Future Self, he asked the viewers to think back 10 years ago. How much have they changed? Their likes, friends, and focus. He points out, had we been keeping a journal of our future selves, most of us would have been wrong.
My hope was it might relieve some of their pre-college stress. Just decide, act, and move on.
Pain and Pleasure
Remembering the trials and tribulations of youth, I hoped they heard this part of the speech. Seeing mostly successes advertised on social media, I wanted them to know that failure is also part of the equation, and that failure doesn’t get as much credit as it should. Turns out the old adage “behind every dark cloud is a silver lining” is somewhat true.
On a recent episode of NPR’s Hidden Brain, I heard psychiatrist Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talk about the seesaw effects of our brain’s pain and pleasure center, which are located next to each other. She explains that at one time there was a good reason for this but in our modern world, not so much.
Our animal brain once used the experience of pain to motivate itself to look for food, find shelter, heal, defend. These pains of hunger, coldness, illness, and injustice would motivate us into action to survive, keeping a continuum of humans.
Once the pain was soothed, the pain/pleasure scale would tip, releasing dopamine as our reward. Think of Pavlov’s dog experiment and the conditioning response of salivating when the dog heard the bell.
Like Pavlov’s dog, our animal brain’s dopamine response would be stored in our memory. Thus becoming a memory motivator for the next time we suffered pain and needed to survive.
Today, we are comfort creatures. Our animal brain has more pleasure than pain. Our pain/pleasure seesaw has gotten out of balance. Instead of pain coming first, we have pleasure.
From sunup to sundown, we have an abundance of food, TV, social media, gaming, and so on. Compared to log cabins and teepees with dirt floors, we live in palaces with comfy furniture.
But so much pleasure has a cost. The pain must eventually balance the pleasure. We are simply wired that way.
Think about it. Too much social media and suddenly you are depressed. Too much binging on Netflix and suddenly you are depressed. No job, no purpose, no problem to solve and that nasty little mantra, I call “devil speak” starts repeating itself in our head.
Lembke says all this to explain why the richest countries in the world suffer the most from anxiety and depression.
I so hoped the kids heard me. I wanted them to know teenage angst and depression are impermanent and that you can act or, if nothing else, just wait it out.
That’s when I added a little humor and said, “Don’t stop under a rain cloud. Just hold up your umbrella -ella -ella -ella until it passes.” And sang a little Rhianna lyric.
Questions
At the end, the floor was opened. These precocious kids went right to a question about the Confederate flag, the Gay Pride flag, and my favorite color (red!).
Listen to Learn:
- Kerry McCoy's hardships and triumphs
- The mercurial nature of personality and self-image
- The importance of balancing comfort with struggle, and more...
Podcast Links
TRANSCRIPT
EPISODE 407
[0:00:01] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to a very special edition of Up in Your Business with Kerry McCoy. Last summer, Kerry was invited to address about 400 students at the Governor's School at Arkansas Tech in Russellville. She gladly accepted the invitation and spoke for almost an hour with these very bright, young people about a variety of topics. We're going to play you that speech today on Up in Your Business with Kerry McCoy.
[INTRODUCTION]
[0:00:36] GM: Welcome to Up in Your Business with Kerry McCoy, a production of flagandbanner.com. Through storytelling, conversational interviews, and Kerry's natural curiosity, this weekly radio show and podcast offers listeners an insider's view into the commonalities of entrepreneurs, athletes, medical professionals, politicians, and other successful people, all sharing their stories of success and the ups and downs of risk-taking. Connect with Kerry through her candid, funny, informative and always encouraging weekly blog. And now, it's time for Kerry McCoy to get all up in your business.
[EPISODE]
[0:01:08] ANNOUNCER: As any good president of a flag company would do, Kerry realized the day that the speech was being given was also a national holiday, and she explained Armistice Day to the kids at the Governor's School as she began her speech.
[0:01:22] KM: Before I start, I mention that today is Armistice Day. It commemorates in 1953, the end of the Korean War and it honors our Korean War veterans. Armistice means truce. This is a truce day for the Korean War. I don't know if you thought about this, but in the last hundred years in the 20th century, we had World War I, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam War and Desert Storm. Those are just the five big ones. There were lots of small ones.
I watched a documentary once and it was titled To War Is Human. I thought, that is really sad. Maybe with your generation, things are going to change. Epigenetics has become a popular buzzword, the study of how our behaviors and environment can cause changes that affect the way our genes work. Simply put, your behaviors and environment affect your genes. I think that's exciting. This says, you really can be anything you want to be. That personality isn't permanent. These non-genetic factors have the capability to transform our DNA and they can last in the genome for multiple generations.
Currently, Western science is proving they can be present in a person from at least three previous generations. We're talking about your great grandparents. What your great grandparents did, how they lived, how they acted, what they ate, affected their genome, and through their DNA, it was passed down to you.
Today, I'm going to give you tips on how to build a good epigenetic foundation for not just you but for your family, which will spread to your friends, your city, your state and maybe the world. You are more important than you may think. I was thrilled when Mr. Jeffrey Cass invited me to come and speak with you. Besides middle-aged men, you are my favorite demographic.
Before we get into my living the American dream story, let's talk about you. Two of my four children went to Governor's School. It was on the campus of Hendrix College at the time. If I remember correctly, Governor's School was not necessarily about being the best that you could be, but it was more about finding out who you are. I'm not sure if this is comforting to you or not, but right now during your high school years, it is confusing and stressful. Yes. Growth is coming at you from every angle physically, mentally, spiritually, and it's okay to admit it.
Even with all of my confidence, I'm not sure I could handle as much change as you guys are going through. I'm here to share some good news and ask you to use all the means you can muster to not overthink things.
No matter what you believe right now, in ten years, most of you will be somewhere, doing something you never would have expected. For combating my adult angst, I read self-help books, like the one on the screen. In this book, Dr. Hardy cites Dr. Gilbert's 20-year study on the future self-concept. Wherein, he explains that people imagine themselves and their future poorly. In 2014, this same Dr. Gilbert gave a main stage TED Talk entitled The Psychology of Your Future Self. He asked us to think about 10 years ago, how much have you changed. If you think back 10 years ago how much have you changed your life, your friends, your focus?
Try to relax. If you are going to keep a journal and write down what you think that you will be doing, or where you might be in the next 10 years, and I know some of you probably keep journals, most of you would be wrong. Try to relax, roll with the punches, don't stress about the future and making perfect decisions, because overthinking stuff can paralyze you. This is not to say that you shouldn't think ahead and dream big. I believe in the power of visualization and dreaming big. I am an epic dreamer. So much so that I was in trouble all the time at school for looking out the window and day dreaming.
How many of who Arnold Schwarzenegger is? Who can give a good Arnold Schwarzenegger impression? Huh? Manningland. Okay, don't do anything till I tell you to. Most of us known Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Universe, a famous body builder from Austria with a funny accent. In my recent Netflix documentary, I learned he was a lot more. After his body building career, he became a real estate mogul. Those are two very different careers. Next, he became the famous movie star that we all know, The Terminator. Then out of nowhere, he gets the idea to run for office and Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes one of the most effective governors of California and passes some of the largest global warming laws in the country. Very progressive.
In this documentary on Netflix that I was watching, he was asked, what is the secret of your success? He had one word, vision. Then he went on to say –
[0:08:33] M: “For my whole life, I had an unusual talent to see things very clearly in front of me. If I could see it in my mind, I thought it must be achievable. There is no doubt that you can make your vision a reality.”
[0:08:51] KM: Drop the mic. All right, I promise you when Arnold was living in Austria, training to be a body builder, he wasn't thinking, “What? I am going to grow up to be a movie star and the governor of California.” But he was dreaming of being a body builder. Stay close to your dreams. Take them one day at a time and do not be lazy. This is when I couldn't decide if I should title this speech, living the American dream, or listening to life, or maybe even, always moving forward. I decided to just combine them into a long sentence, or phrase and it's called Living the American Dream by Listening to Life and Always Moving Forward. Let me say that again. Living the American Dream by Listening to Life and Always Moving Forward.
I'm going to tell you how I did it. In school, as I said earlier, I was always in trouble for daydreaming. School was very hard for me. I was born before everything had a label. If you were to label me today, you would label me ADHD, dyslexic, and something else I'm sure, some other acronym. You know the kids in class, class clowns, always messing up. When it was time to graduate, I remember the pressure of graduation, where to go to college, who to room with and what to major in.
Looking back, I realized I had what all of you have, youthful naivety, unsure of adulthood, and it's a hidden blessing. If I had known how big my life was going to get and how windy the path was going to be, I might have been overwhelmed and I might have thought it impossible and I might have been intimidated. Desmond Tutu once wisely said, that there is only one way to eat an elephant, a bite at a time. What he meant by this is that everything in life that seems daunting, overwhelming, and even impossible can be accomplished gradually by taking on just one little bite at a time.
For you, there are going to be career changes, job changes, family, friends, ups, downs, life, death, abundance, lack, more trials and tribulations in your mind can probably even wrap its head around. Believe it or not, this adage is absolutely true. Behind every cloud is a silver lining. I have lived long enough to pay witness to this over and over. Now, science has its reasoning for this phenomena.
On a recent episode of NPR's Hidden Brain, I heard psychiatrist Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talk about the seesaw effects of our brain's pain and pleasure center. Turns out, the two, pain and pleasure, are in the same area of the brain. Once there was a good reason for this, but in our modern world, not so much. Our animal brain wants to use the experience of pain to motivate oneself to look for food, find shelter, heal, defend. These pains of hunger, coldness, illness and injustice would motivate us, motivate us into action to survive, keeping the continuum of humans. Once the pain was soothed, the pain-pleasure scale would tip, and it would release dopamine as our reward.
Think of Pavlov's dog and his experiment and the conditioning response of the salivating dog when he heard the bell. Like Pavlov's dog, our animal brain's dopamine response would be stored in our memory, thus becoming a memory motivator for the next time we suffered pain and needed to survive.
Today, we are comfort creatures. Our animal brain has more pleasure than pain. Our pain-pleasure seesaw has gotten out of balance. Instead of pain coming first, we have pleasure. From sun up to sundown, we have an abundance of food, TV, social media, gaming, and so on, compared to the log cabins and teepees, and with dirt floors, we live in palaces with comfortable furniture. But so much pleasure has a cost. The pain must eventually balance the pleasure. Simply put, we are wired that way to stay in balance.
Think about it. Too much social media and suddenly, you're depressed. Too much binging on Netflix and suddenly, you're depressed. No job, no purpose, no problem to solve, equates to depression. The author, Anna, says all of this to explain why the richest countries in the world suffer the most from anxiety and depression. Now that you know why and that this depressive state is impermanent, you can do something about it. If nothing else, you can just wait it out. Never stop under a rain cloud. As Rihanna says, “Just hold up your umbrella, ella, ella, ella, until it passes.”
I'm telling you all of this, because my journey is so full of ups and downs. Some people think that I started Arkansas Flag and Banner because I'm patriotic, but it was actually a series of bad luck. As I told you twice already now, and now I'm telling you for a third time, I was not very good in school. When it came time to go to college, my sister, I was the youngest, my brother and my sister were going to go off and they are both smart in school. They went to college. Everybody was going to college. I thought, “Well, I have to go to college,” so I went.
The first semester I tried really hard. As you know in college, you do a lot of work outside class. I was not very good. I went home with my tail between my legs. I'm depressed, and I'm living at home in Little Rock, Arkansas. My mother comes in and she says, “I was looking in the back of your 17 magazine, and I found this school called Miss Wade's Fashion Merchandising School. You know how you like clothes. Maybe you would like to go to this school in Dallas, Texas.” The first thing I'm thinking is, “Oh, my gosh. Another school.”
My boyfriend's broken up with me. I flunked out of school. I seriously considered driving off a bridge, as I'm sure we've all done. I thought, “Okay, I'm desperate. I'm under a rain cloud that is pouring.” I packed up my car. I go to Miss Wade's. I don't know anybody there. I'm far away from my home, and that was the most growth I've ever probably had in my life to date. Votech schools move really slow in class. You learn everything in class. “It's snowing. Well, go home, read chapter 11. When you come back, we're going to have a test on it. We're going to read this chapter in class today.”
I took college classes. I took accounting 101. I took law 101. We took all these nice classes. By the end of that school year, I was a straight A student. Not being around any of my friends, I got to really experiment and take risks. I found out something. I was a leader. I know I was a class clown. That was my first rain cloud.
My second rain cloud, I was going to graduate from Miss Wade's. I was going to go to work for Neiman Marcus as a buyer for Neiman Marcus. That was my vision. When I graduated in 1974, there was a recession, much like in 2008. I don't know if you all remember that. There were gas lines at the pumps. Nobody was eating out. Nobody was buying clothes. I couldn't get a job in the degree that I just got in, fashion merchandising.
I went to Snelling and Snelling, and I got a job. I found a job. They found me a job. It was selling flags for Betsy Ross Flag Girls. I worked there for six months. Another really, really hard thing to do. At that time, you would walk into an office. You'd drive your car at the front door. You'd get out, you'd walk in. I'm 19, 20-years-old. You'd walk in and you'd say, “Hello. I'm Kerry McCoy. I see you need a new flag for your flagpole. Can I talk to the purchasing agent?” Back then, you could actually talk to people. They would take in the back and they would sit down. You'd talk to this purchasing agent and try to sell them a flag. Well, I learned to shake hands. I learned to talk to adults. I did this for about six months.
My roommate was going to move home. Everybody's left Dallas now. I'm not happy really at this job very much. I go home to see my brother get married. My mother says, “Why don't you move back home?” I said, “What do I do?” She said, “Why don't you sell flags in Little Rock?” I said, “Well, can I do that?” She said, “Call around and find out where the secretary of state buys flags. Call around and find out where the school district buys flags.” I call up and I ask. Nobody's buying flags from anybody in Little Rock, Arkansas. They're all buying them out of state. I’m thinking, “Well, here's a niche market. Okay.”
I go back. Learn all I can about flags. Move home. With $400, I found Arkansas Flag and Banner and began to sell them door to door. That's three-rain cloud show. Boom, boom, boom. My father was a small business owner. He had a desk and an extra telephone line coming in to the office. Back then, you had push button phones, one, two, three. He said, “If you want to take the third line and when it rings, I'll have my secretary answer, Arkansas Flag and Banner.” Originally, I wanted to name the company Available Flag and Banner Company, because flags are especially product and they're not readily available everywhere. My mother said, “You're not naming anything available anything.” Because I'm a young girl.
We ended up naming it Arkansas Flag and Banner, because it starts with an A, or at the top of the yellow pages with an A. I put it in my dad's office and he starts saying – his secretary starts helping me answer the phone. When my daughter was born, I moved it into my house. When she started school, I moved it back out into this little house in North Little Rock. If you ever decide you want to start a small business, remember, it is your friends and family that will help you the most.
If you go to the SBA, Small Business Administration and ask them for a loan, the first thing they're going to tell you is to ask your friends and your family for loans. This was a rain house of my mother's that had been vacant for years. She said, “If you want to, you can move in there for rent free for a year.” I moved my business in there when my daughter started school. While I was here, Desert Storm broke out. I called and I woke up one morning and I didn't feel well. I had the flu. I called into work. I had about two people working for me at this time. I said, “I've got the flu. I can't come to work.” I laid in bed with fever. Never woke up all day.
5.00 comes around. I called the office. I say, “Okay. How is work today?” They said, “Well, you'll never believe it, but a war broke out and we sold every flag in the building.” I'm like, “What are you talking about? I thought they were kidding.” I turned on the TV and sure enough, Desert Storm had broke out. For the next three months, patriotism went through the roof. I started putting some money in the bank. When that happened, I began to think about this building that I would see driving down the 630 freeway on the way to my office every morning.
This building called to me like nothing has ever called to me. Well, almost nothing. This is listening to life. I love this building. This is what I saw driving to work every day. When I got money in the bank, I started thinking about putting my business into a big red brick building like that, that looked like a big old bank on the 630 freeway. I just became a dog with a bone about it. I was sneaking here. You go up and try to weave my way to the top floor. Homeless people were living in there.
My husband, I couldn't tell him I was going in there, because he would get mad, because of the homeless people there. That is the third floor, the Dreamland Ballroom, and that is the roof that has fallen in and fallen through to the second floor. There were birds flying around. The sun was shining through. You could look across to the far side and see the stage in the box seats. I'm telling y'all, this was a spiritual experience for me. I had to have this building.
I went to my father and I asked him for $20,000 to buy it. Because that's all it was owed on it in back taxes. He was like, “You've lost your mind, little lady.” I could not quit thinking about it. Finally, one day he came over to me and he said, “Well, I guess I'm going to help you.” He handed me – now, $20,000 to my parents was a lot of money. He walked up to me on every – he handed me this check and I looked down and it was $20,000. I said, “Dad, thank you.” He turned around. He wouldn't let me thank him. He turned around, he walked off and said, “Well, I'll never see that again.” I thought, “Yes, you will.”
I began to renovate it, to restore it. Eventually, we moved in. Once I moved in, I began to realize that that building spoke to me, because it had a lot of spirits in that building. When I was sitting in the first floor at my desk, because we could only afford to put a roof on it and do the first floor was all we could afford to do. We had all our offices on the first floor. There would be these old timers would come up to the window and they'd look through the window, and I'd jump up and I'd run out there to see who they are.
I'll never forget Max Honeycutt. He owned the Honeycutt Hotel right next door. He is an old black man. He had N and H on his two front teeth. He took me down the street. He told me about every building that was there. He told me about the house his wife and him lived there. He showed me tiles that he laid. Suddenly, I knew that I had been entrusted with a really big piece of history. I hired this woman, Bernal Love. She's a historian. She spent five years, $15,000 doing oral histories on all the people that came to see me. She wrote this book, Temple of Dreams. This book, she then gave to PBS, who wrote a documentary that you could see on mine, or wherever you would like to.
Some of the things I learned about 9th Street, which was the black business district of Little Rock, was that at the turn of the century, black people were called the prosperous people of Little Rock. I don't think everybody realizes how prosperous African-Americans were on 9th Street. During that time, there were more African-Americans in Washington and in legislature ever in history, y’all. There's a legacy on the street that is just mind-blowing.
What happened to 9th Street, a lot of people think, was 630 Freeway, and it was part of it. What began was desegregation. Desegregation was wonderful and it had to happen. If you think about it like this, you know how Walmart goes into a small town and the small store goes belly up, the little grocery store goes belly up because everybody starts shopping at Walmart? When they desegregated, all the customers on 9th Street began to shop on Main Street. Unbeknownst to them, it bankrupted 9th Street. All the black businesses went belly up.
There's one black business left today, Dubisson Funeral Home from before desegregation. This happened not just on our 9th Street. It happened in Watts. It happened in the Bronx. It happened all over America. Today, that baby in my belly is 33-years-old. He has helped me found the Friends of Dreamland Ballroom. It didn't take me long to figure out that I wasn't going to ever have enough money to bring back the Dreamland Ballroom, which is on the top floor of the Taborian Hall. That I was going to have to turn it into a non-profit and that we were going to have to ask for grates.
Son Matthew helped me found the Friends of Dreamland Ballroom. He's helped us get 1.5 million dollars from the National Park Service to put an elevator in to make it ADH compliant, so everybody can get up to the Dreamland Ballroom, and to restore some of the artifacts on the Dreamland Ballroom that are going by the wayside. He also wrote our new mission that I just love. The Friends of Dreamland celebrate the community of West 9th Street. They share the legacy of the Dreamland Ballroom and preserve the original intent of the Taborian Hall. I think that is a wonderful remake of our mission statement.
We have one fundraiser a year, and it's called Dancing in the Dreamland. It's really, really fun. It is the most loving night. It's like this. Everybody just likes each other and everybody just accepts everybody and everybody's like, “Okay, whatever. It's cool.” Everybody takes risks. These dancers come out here. They're amateurs and they take risks in front of all of us. We just love on them and then we vote for one. It's like dancing with the stars with amateurs. We have a panel and judges, too. There's text voting. That's a part you all like.
Here's my roadmap. As you have heard, this is not a Pollyanna story. It's a story of hard work, hope and perseverance. Since founding Flag and Banner, I have navigated my business through three recessions, two wars, a worldwide pandemic, which we all remember, decades of business changes. The bad luck after high school are examples of how, if you want to live the American dream, you must keep moving forward and go where life leads you. After nearly 50 years in business, I've done what so many others in their golden years have done and begun paving forward what I have learned, hence me being here today.
In 2014, I started Brave Magazines. There's some magazines in the back of the room. We started Brave Magazine, because one day in a mandatory Monday morning meeting, we always got together and we talked about all the stories of people that bought flags. You would not believe the people that bought flags, in the bottom of Lake Ouachita is a memorial for a Navy SEAL, and they have put the coordinates. You can dive down there and see this memorial. They keep flags down there.
Flags are everywhere. They're carried across the country for causes. You just can't believe all the stories. We decided that we'd start Brave Magazine and we would start talking about all of our customers, basically, and start telling stories. When I think of Brave, don't think – I mean, this could be about heroes, but it's not just about heroes. It's about the bravery to not just run into a fire, but the bravery to change, the bravery to come to Governor's School, the bravery it takes to go off to college, the bravery it takes to get married, to get divorced, to have children, to change jobs. There's so many ways to be brave. We try to highlight people that have done brave things that we've gotten to know through Arkansas Flag and Banner.
Then one day, I was leaving church and I was upset, and I won't bother you with another one of my rain clouds, but I went by Moxy Mercantile on Main Street in Little Rock. I knew they had funny cards in there with lots of cuss words and stuff. I thought, “Well, I'll go in there and I'll read some of those funny, dirty cards. That ought to cheer me up.” I go in, and the lady in there, the owner's in there and she finds out who I am and she starts asking me all kinds of internet questions about, how do you market this? How do you do that? We spend 20 minutes. I advise her all everything I can tell her.
Then I get back in the car and I realize that that week someone, had called me on the phone and asked me how to start a business, had emailed me and asked me some business questions. Then I run into this lady. I thought, “Golly, I need to start paying forward some of my knowledge to people, just giving it to them for free.” I decided that I was starting a radio show and I called around. I found somebody that would put me on the radio and we started Up in Your Business with Kerry McCoy.
We thought it was going to be a radio show about me teaching other people, and that I was going to be teaching them. But it really did not take long after listening to my guests to learn that we were the people who were learning. As great philosopher Diogenes once wrote, we have two ears and one tongue, so that we may listen more. After listening to over 300 guests tell their story, I've seen some reoccurring traits in these successful people. Most of my guests believe in a higher power of some sort, because it takes faith to take risks.
They all have the heart of a teacher, because they understand that we all stand on the shoulders of the people that we teach, and they all work hard, like me. Many of them working several jobs. It took Arkansas Flag and Banner nine years until it could support me. I worked part-time jobs for nine years.
In one such interview with Mr. Charles Morgan, founder of Acxiom, I asked him, what's his favorite thing about business? I'll never forget what he said. Problem solving in groups, and the creativity of business. Just like that, Mr. Morgan gave clarity to my life. Remember the name of my speech? Living the American Dream by Listening to Life and Always Moving Forward. How do you know which direction to go? You stay open to change.
My business, Arkansas Flag and Banner began as door to door sales in 1975. That's how I started. When my daughter was born, I changed my sales approach to telephone sales, so I could stay home with her. Found new customers through direct mail. When Desert Storm interrupted our supply chain, much like today's supply chains are interrupted, we began manufacturing our own flags. Then one day, while attending a workshop for small business owners, I heard about this newfangled thing called the Internet. I launched my first website in 1995.
I founded Friends of Dreamland in 2009, published Brave in 2014, started Up in Your Business with Kerry McCoy in 2016, and just two years, an opportunity presented itself and we bought a factory in Miami that sells and manufactures flags. All these opportunities came to me while solving the problems of that day. I took it one bite at a time. Right now, as much as I'm trying to resist the universe, something keeps pushing me to run for mayor. What do y'all think? I had to beg for that. Did you see how I had to beg for that?
To end, I promised you five things that I will make you feel good about yourself and guarantee that you have a full life. First, let's acknowledge that success is many different things to many different people. For some, it could be getting into the college of your dreams. For others, it could be owning your own car, or phone, buying nice clothes, having a big career, getting your citizenship, moving to New York, raising a big family, or maybe just a life-work balance is what you dream of. Achieving your success and being a contributing citizen is not a mystery, guys. It's simple. You must first dream big. As Arnold says, have a vision in your mind's eye. Imagine yourself as you wish.
Two, always be working on something. This will propel you forward. As Ben Franklin so famously said, “The key to success is under the alarm clock.” Have you heard the 10,000-hour rule? I love that’s going to teach you all something. Well, I love that. That's a good teacher right there. Think back to my story. What stands out? This not-so-smart girl had perseverance. I was always working. I was following the 10,000-hour rule. While you are dreaming big and persevering towards something, listen to life. Keep your ears and eyes open for opportunities.
You live in America. Opportunities are everywhere. Part of listening to life is to be prepared. Dress for success as though you're expecting it to happen on any day. Again, changing your genome. Self-care will build confidence. Saying yes more than you say no, and you may not like this, and most of you all probably don't do this anyway, because you all are Governor's school, but very few opportunities are going to find you on the couch, or in your bedroom.
Like my magazine says, be brave. Try something new. Believing in a destiny, the universe, or a higher power of any kind will help you take risk. It is okay to be uncomfortable. It is okay to make mistakes. This is how we all grow. Do you think it was easy for me to say yes to yet another school so far away from my family in Dallas with roommates I didn't know? If you think back over my life, personal growth has come at the uncomfortable times. You may not believe this, but I almost didn't graduate from high school, because one of my requirements was you had to make a speech. Public speaking was my biggest fear.
At the time, graduating from high school was contingent upon the completion of speech class. I seriously considered dropping out. Fear of speech making, or glossophobia affects 75% of the US population and that equates to roughly 246 million people. Some people actually say they would rather die than make a speech. According to one of my idols, Warren Buffett, you can raise your worth by 50% just by learning one skill, public speaking. Think about that. How long would it take me to talk individually to everybody in this room? Two weeks.
Learning to speak in front of people is an incredible return on your investment for any career. The good news is it's a skill you can learn. Lessons are readily available on YouTube, TED Talk, and Dale Carnegie course, which is where Warren Buffett learned. As a young man, Buffett's glossophobia condition was so bad that he would throw up before a speech. His first attempt at the Dale Carnegie course was so frightening that he dropped out and had to take the course again. When I read the rich and powerful Mr. Warren Buffett, founder of Berkshire Hathaway, a huge investment firm had a fear of speech making, he wanted to conquer it, I was encouraged to do it myself. Talk about personalities not being permanent.
Successful people are not born. They are made. Do the right thing. You know in your heart what that is. In the military, they adhere to Desmond Tutu's philosophy of how to eat an elephant, one bite at a time, when training new recruits on how to do the right thing. A small and simple way to start your day off right is to make your bed up on rising. The benefits are twofold. You have begun the day with an accomplishment. When you come home to retire and see a well-made bed, you feel really good about it. This is so simple. You'll be shocked how good it makes you feel.
Oprah says, she always makes her bed. Doing the right thing means living, a life of integrity. Again, it's simple. Don't laugh. You should be able to do business with a handshake. Doesn't mean you should trust everybody, but everybody should be able to trust you. Your word is one of the most valuable assets you have. Make it the foundation of your life. Treat people the way you want to be treated. I mean, this is kindergarten stuff, y'all. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Take initiative.
The Mayor Terry Hartwick of North Little Rock said in our Up in Your Business interview, that he was sitting his office, when he looked up, looked out the window and saw a young man pick up a piece of trash and throw it in the receptacle. He jumped up, ran out the door, caught the young man and offered him a job. You never know who is watching. Last, make yourself trustworthy by doing what you say you're going to do. If you say you're going to be somewhere at 9.00, you be there at 9.00.
To recap, be an epic daydreamer. Work at something. Persevere through the rain clouds. Listen to life. Say yes. Be brave. It is where the growth is. Have integrity. Do the right thing. You never know who's watching. All this is important, not just for you, but for all of mankind through the study of epigenetics. We have learned the phrase, ‘sins of your father’ is somewhat true. From one hour ago, when I walked out on the stage, you are forever changed. You now have knowledge. You are more powerful than you may have thought. That's a daunting responsibility that what you do is going to affect your great-grandchildren. Your actions, be it good or bad, are literally changing your genome. Those genes will be passed down for generations.
Today, my daydreams are about you. I dream of your generation. I told you, you're my favorites. I dream of your generation circumventing the sins of those who came before us. That you work on being a better person, that you help save our planet, you love one another, and improve the human condition. Through the knowing of the power of epigenetic science, you can do this. Who cares about what happened yesterday? So what? What now?
[0:43:35] MALE: Okay. We maybe have time for a few questions, so –
[0:43:47] KM: Okay, I want to explain something about the Confederate flag. The Confederate flag is not the battle flag. The Bonnie Blue was the battle flag that was carried into war. The Confederate battle flag that we all see was of veterans flag. You may not have liked the Vietnam War. You may not have liked the Civil War, but the actual flag that was picked up by hate groups is a veteran flag that was used by the sons of the Confederacy for all the fathers and the sons that died in the south during the Civil War. A lot of people think that flag, that's just a little note, think that flag was actually the Confederate flag. The Bonnie Blue was the actual Confederate flag. There you go.
[0:44:39] FEMALE: Do you currently sell Pride flags? If not, do you intend to sell the flag?
[0:44:50] KM: Yeah. I have a gay son.
[0:44:56] ANNOUNCER: The next question that came to carry from the crowd at the Governor's School during her speech had a little bit of a microphone problem in the crowd, but the question was asking her to reflect once again on the check that her father gave her when she bought the Taborian Hall building in downtown Little Rock, and the immensity of that in her full lifetime career.
[0:45:18] KM: I was born in 1954. I graduated high school in 1972. Classes were a lot different back then. We didn't have as big a spread of classes that we did today. I mean, financial classes that we do today, maybe. The doctor lived next door to us. He made a lot more money than we did, but he still lived in my neighborhood. My father did not have any money. That's why I said that $20,000 was really big to him. When he gave me that money, he was old and it was part of his retirement. The reason that it was a rain cloud for me was because I – and this is something I wish all of y'all had that we had back then, is that I knew we would always have food on the table. My family always worked. They were from World War II. They were from the Depression. We always were conservative and we always lived modestly.
I knew that if I asked my mother for money, she would give it to me if she had it. I also knew, she would do without to give me that. That's why I lived with her. I used my own $400. That's why them giving me that $20,000 was such a big deal. They did not give me money to start Arkansas Flag and Banner. I went and got a signature loan for $1,500 to start Arkansas Flag and Banner. They still have those micro loans today, if someone wants to start them.
I worked a part-time job for nine years. I was a waitress for nine years, so that I didn't have to borrow money from them. Maybe I should modify that speech if it sounds like that, because that's not true at all. They didn't have any money to give me. We didn't buy new cars. We lived in a modest house. Everybody did. That was not unusual. That's not to say that we were, by any means, not well off. Everybody lived the same. We were all very, father knows best, I guess you'd say.
[0:47:31] MALE: Did you ever repay your father?
[0:47:33] KM: Yes, I did.
[0:47:45] MALE: Of all the flags that has ever been created, which is your favorite?
[0:47:48] KM: Of all the flags? Arkansas. Arkansas has a great flag. Arkansas has a great flag. It's pretty simple. It's really nice.
[0:48:06] MALE: You mentioned working as a waitress part-time for nine years. Was this while your business was trying to take off, and that you were trying to get a profit. How long was it before you were able to do take this off and do business alone?
[0:48:19] KM: It was exactly nine years. I'll never forget it. Yes, so when you start a business, you need to take a little bit of money out of it, but you need to reinvest it back in. I had maybe starting off 12 flags off the trunk of my car while I went selling door to door. When I would sell one, I would buy another flag to put it in inventory. Then I'd buy another one to put it in inventory. My father and mother helped me, because my dad gave me an office, a desk in his office. I didn't have to pay rent. I didn't have to use a phone. I was able to have a little spot in his office.
I didn't have a lot of overhead expenses, but I did need to build my inventory. For nine years, I would buy a flag for inventory and I'd take some money out, I'm sure, but I had to work as a waitress most of the time. In fact, that's not all bad. I actually love waiting tables. My husband was the bus boy, and I was the waitress, and we've been married 35 years.
[0:49:23] MALE: Where do you get most of your [inaudible 0:49:25] flags from?
[0:49:27] KM: That's a good question. Most of my flags come from a company called Annin. Sometimes we'll see presidents will visit these factories. They're in New Jersey, and it's a family-owned business. It's seven generations old. It was originally started in New York, and it was on the tailor. There was a tailor street on where the tailors sewed. When the boats would come over from England, he noticed that everybody would always want the US flags and stuff off it. This tailor started converting his tailoring shop into a flag shop, and he became the first flag manufacturer in the United States. They're still family-owned, and they're in New Jersey, and I'm good friends with them. Flags were made in America still.
[0:50:16] ANNOUNCER: What you've been hearing is Kerry McCoy's speech to the Governor's School last summer in Russellville. The questions were wonderful, the speech was terrific, and it's an example of what kind of thoughts she puts into this show every week. Up in Your Business with Kerry McCoy. Check out the YouTube channel for all the different shows that this program has produced.
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[0:50:39] ANNOUNCER: You've been listening to Up in Your Business with Kerry McCoy. For links to resources you heard discussed on today's show, go to flagandbanner.com, select radio show, and choose today's guest. If you'd like to sponsor this show, or any show, contact me, Gray. That's G-R-A-Y@flagandbanner.com. All interviews are recorded and posted the following week. Stay informed of exciting upcoming guests by subscribing to our YouTube channel, or podcast, wherever you like to listen. Kerry's goal is simple, to help you live the American dream.
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